Danny Writes

My name is Danny. Here are some things you should know about me:

I’m ridiculously handsome, I have the ability to turn semi invisible, i am ninja, I once ruled Lima, Peru with an iron fist for a weekend, I hate cats with the passion of ten passionate men (that’s a lot of passion my friend), I almost survived the Challenger explosion (may I rest in peace), due to the radiation of the earth’s yellow sun i am endowed with powers and abilities far beyond those of mere mortal men, i am allergic to sad things and fond memories (and cat dander), i can smell like a hippopotamus if i don’t shower for two days, I can shout loud enough to level a house. I am able to fit both of my feet into my mouth at the same time. I can recite the alphabet forwards and backwards in every known language on the planet. I was one of the architechts of the original Death Star. I can bend steel bars with my bare hands. I once scaled the outside of the Empire State Building without using my feet. I can stare into the sun indefinitely. I memorized the 1955 edition of the Encyclopedia Brittanica in its entirety. I can telepathically communicate with sea creatures. I can jump out of an airplane without a parachute and land on my feet. I built a fully operational spaceship from scratch. I can taste fear. sometimes if you listen really closely you can hear me sizzle, when it gets cold outside steam rises off my head and shoulders (no shit!), i spent two years searching for the magical subterrainian world of fraggle rock before learning it was only a tv show (wink-wink!)

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