myspace surveys
My name is Danny and I’m a renaissance man. I write and draw and make with the jokes to entertain the masses. Here on this blog I will share with you, the reading public, samples of what it is that I do. I’m hoping that each entry will contain a couple of things, whether it’s a writing sample and a drawring, or a photograph and a short story. Essays. Random thoughts. Whatever. Let’s begin, shall we?…
I used to hate those stupid myspace surveys that my friends would pass around as bulletins throughout the day. They’re stupid, pointless, and boring. …At least, that’s what I used to think. Then I discovered that if I got a little creative with the answers they could not only be fun to fill out, but also fun for your friends to read. Since I started doing this I have seen a few people that are doing it as well, but they tend to be overly crass. Usually the answers all have to do with shock humor without the wit of actual humor. Almost all of the answers tend to be self serving, designed to make the survey taker seem cool. I have no need to SEEM cool. My answers are intended to delight and entertain. So enjoy as I post all my surveys here for your reading enjoyment (not all at once)…
1. You have 10 bucks and need to buy snacks at a gas station.
- pringles, grape soda, snickers ice cream/brownie sangwich, duct tape, one condom.
2. If you had to be reincarnated as some sort of sea dweller?
- aquaman.
3. Who’s your favorite redhead?
- rizzo fo’shizzo my nizzo.
4. What do you order at The Waffle House?
- hepatitis… look, whether you ORDER it or not…
5. Last book you read?
- hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy
6. Have you made out with anyone on your friend’s list?
- most of them
7. What’s your lucky number?
- 3,720:1
8. Describe the last time you were injured.
- it hurt and then it bled… then i wiped
9. Of all your friends, with whom would you want to be stuck in the jungle?
- manny puig :for the protection and for the wild jungle sex.
10. Are there any odd things that make you feel uncomfortable?
- third testicles
12. What is the wallpaper on your cell phone?
- my cell phone has wood panelling
13. Soda?
- no thanks, i’m not thirsty. but thanks for asking. that was really nice.
14. Flavor of pudding?
- tuna (weird al fans rejoice)
15. What type of shirt are you wearing?
- the only kind i have
16. Prescription medication?
- yes please
17. Name two things you did last night?
- masturbate
18. $100 bank error in your favor, what do you buy?
- a hooker of course.
19. How many people on your list do you know in real life?
- none of them
20. What are you listening to right now?
- the voice that tells me to burn things. only right now it’s telling me to lightly toast a pop tart. not a bad suggestion, voice. high five!!
21. Most recent movie you’ve watched?
- i don’t remember the name but it was a really poorly produced snuff film. it sucked. the sex was sloppy. the death was premature. it suffered all the cliche problems you expect from amateur snuff films. two thumbs down.
22. If you could invent one thing, what would it be?
- who DOESN”T answer this one with “time machine?”
23. Name a boss you had the hots for:
- springsteen
24. What’s your favorite town?
- lilliput
25. Favorite kind of cake?
- birthday
26. What’s the first words that come to mind right now?
- cake
27. When was the last time you saw your mom in person?
- i can see the top of her head right now…mmmmmmm. (oooh!! sick burn!! take that, mom!! hahahaha!)
28. Who got you to join MySpace?
- tom?
29. What did you have for dinner last night?
- gravel
30. How long have you been at your current job?
- 5 months. only those who know where i “work” will find that funny
31. Is Tom on your friends list?
- yes
32. What’s the last thing you said out loud?
- slow down…mmmmmmm.
33. Look to your left, what do you see?
- my brother jerking off (our family is very close)
34. Who is the last person who spent $100 on you?
- some dude in the stall at the bus station.
35. Who’s your least-favorite tennis player?
- michael jordan
36. Favorite sport?
- tennis
37. What’s the last piece of clothing you bought?
- a really sexy clown costume… you know… for kids!
Stay tuned for more survey hilarity…
