It’s time for another stupid, funny MySpace Survey. I don’t change anything when these things get to me. Any spelling mistakes were there before. The titles are assigned to these things without my input and I have absolutely no idea what the questions are before I fill them out. I just erase the previous answer and replace it with the first thing that pops into my head. sometimes it’s something funny, sometimes it’s a genuine response to the query, sometimes it’s both simultaneously. Those are my favorites. Enjoy…
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Strange Questions….
1. What is your best friend’s Mom’s name?
- sharon
3. Who was the hottest teacher you ever had?
- michelle (can’t remember last name)
4.Have you ever made out in a movie theatre?
- no
5. What body part do you wash first?
- armpits
6. Do you have any piercings?
- no
8. Do you have an innie or an outtie?
- innie
9. What’s your favorite flavored Pringles?
- pizza or plain
10. Have you ever been tied up?
- on the phone or at the office?
11. What was the worst thing you ever got grounded for?
- buzzing the tower
12. Shaken or stirred?
- no, it’s “shaken NOT stirred” don’t you ever watch james bond movies
13. Have you ever had two dates in one night?
- you obviously don’t know me very well.
14. How many times have you been cursed out?
- you obviously don’t know me very well.
15. Which shoe do you put on first?
- right
16. How old are you?
- old enough… i get enough of this shit from brandy. i don’t need it from a computer too.
17. Have you ever been to a gay bar?
- yes, but not for the reason you would think… i was there to get a blow job from a strange man… wait, it might be for the reason you think…
18. Have you ever had any Friends with Benefits?
- what? like health insurance?
19. Is there one thing all of your love interests have had in common?
- booooooooobs!!!!
20. Did you french kiss before you were 16?
- embarrassingly, no.
21. Ever been cow tipping?
- embarrassingly, no.
22. Who is the last person you usually think about before you fall asleep?
- god… but only on nights when i masturbate myself to sleep… otherwise, brandy.
23. Have you ever had a poem or a song written about you?
- i’m not gay.
24. If you had to choose to not ever wash your bed sheets again or not wash your bath towel ever again, which would you rather not wash?
- you’re supposed to wash bedsheets and bathtowels?
25. Have you ever found anything in your parents’ bedroom that was questionable?
- my brother
26. What was your childhood nickname?
- dan-o
27. When is the last time you played the air guitar?
- actually this survey is cutting in to my all day air guitar rock-a-thon.
28. Have you ever peeked in the opposite sexes locker room?
- does setting up a webcam count as “peeking?”
29. What’s the weirdest thing you have done while driving?
- the kama sutra in it’s entirety… no wait, once i drove 10 miles over the speed limit… one of those.
30. Have you ever bitten your toenails?
- yes, but my foot was not attached at the time.
31. How do you normally eat your oreos?
- with my mouth… what kind of stupid survey is this?
33. Name something you do when you’re alone that you wouldn’t do in front of others?
- complex mathematics… nobody likes a smarty pants.
36. How many drinks does it take before you get drunk?
- three less than it takes to get me to suck off a transient…
37. Have you ever sniffed an animal’s butt?
- once but i needed to check something
39. Do you scrunch or fold your toilet paper?
- no jokes on this one because i have very strong beliefs on the subject. you MUST fold t.p. if you scrunch it you increase the chances of getting poop on your hand… unless that’s your thing, in which case… scrunch away.
41. Do you have any strange phobias?
- you obviously don’t know me very well.
42. Have you ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?
- only if general grievous action figures count as foreign objects…
43. What is the stupidest thing you’ve ever done at a bar?
- i don’t remember her name
44. Have you ever been dared to do something you totally regretted?
- ask the hooker i killed
45. Have you ever called your love interest by another girl/guys name?
- yes, but it was her mom’s name so… no big deal.
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