I wrote this rant right after I read an article in Wizard magazine about “Superman Returns.” I had also seen the trailer at this point. Keep in mind that I am a huge Superman fan and what was being done to the man of steel really got me going. I would also like to point out that I have many gay friends and harbor no ill will towards the homosexual community. My use of the word “gay” to describe something that I find “lame” is a result of the time in which I grew up. My use of the word “queer,” however is in DIRECT referrence to the totally gay lifestyle of the North American homosexual.
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look, i still maintain that one CANNOT make a good superman movie without a proper superman. this movie has no proper superman. this routh kid looks more like jason schwartzman than the man of steel. he looks like a teenager, no bulky muscles or broad chin or any other classicly recognized physically heroic traits…this is not going to be nearly as queer as shumacher’s batman, but pretty queer none the less. listen up hollywood, we comic book geeks like our superheroes to be as close to the comics as possible. i don’t care what your take on the material may be. if you’re gay. fine. be gay. just stop letting it rub off on our superheroes. you didn’t queenify the x-men!! hell, if he promises to de-gay superman i will suck off bryan singer. that’s how much i care…(back to my ranting)… the costume looks rediculous. is that cape TIED on at the neck?? bikini briefs?? ’s’ buckle on the belt?? then you have the whole thing with this film being a continuation of superman 2 but lois has a baby that she doesn’t have in 3 or 4. does that mean the baby is going to die? i certainly hope so. also, being part 2 and 1/2 and all, why are we retelling the origin? that’s a waste of time. plus…superman gets shot IN THE EYE. never mind instinct or reflexes… no heat-vision melting of the bullet. it’ll look better if it shatters against his EYEBALL. gay…. gaygaygaygay GAY!! there are just so many things wrong with this picture already, and it isn’t even out yet, …and still, i can’t help it. i’m excited to see a new superman movie. fuck you hollywood!! i think i’ll go see it with rizzo so he can suck my weiner in the theatre.
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